i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
