I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
its not stalking. its research.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize