do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
