drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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