Don't you send me to vm
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
