he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
