Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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