Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize