that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
