??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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