why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
