Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i believe in u and ur pee
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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