I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
