I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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