I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
