I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
