btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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