I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize