I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
