i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
