K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
