Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
