Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
