and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
