ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
