he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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