I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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