What a fucking waste of an outfit
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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