So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
