Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
