id be glad to
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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