Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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