Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
