I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
