I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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