People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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