You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
