Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
time to smoke my breakfast
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
