Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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