She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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