it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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