you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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