I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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