Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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