and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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