He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
