nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
