im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize