and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
