I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
