The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
