Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
