pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
