Barsexuality is the new black.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
