I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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