At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
