is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
